Why “I Want to Further My Education” Is Costing You Admission

Justin Grimes
Dec 17, 2025
4 min read

I was drawn to the student applying to the Translational Biology, Medicine, and Health doctoral program until I read, “I want to further my education(IWTFME).” What the student didn’t know was that this was the twelfth personal statement I had read in which an applicant used the most common phrase in graduate school interviews and personal statements: “I want to further my education.” The phrase sounds reasonable, respectful, and academically appropriate. However, it is also one of the least effective sentences you can say or write.

One single sentence often determines whether an admissions reader leans in or mentally checks out.

Why Do People Say This Phrase?

Applicants use this sentence because it feels safe. It sounds mature. It avoids sounding arrogant. Many people were taught that graduate school applications are about expressing desire and respect for learning, so this phrase feels like the right thing to say.

But it’s not.

I see this phrase mainly from first-generation and nontraditional applicants. I get it. Saying “I want to further my education” feels neutral and non-threatening.

The question I have for you is, “How can you be more specific” in what you say in every sentence?

Saying this phrase is similar to responding to the question, “How are you doing today?” with a simple “fine” when, in reality, things are not fine. You might have received an A on your final exam, your car started without any issues, your child finally woke up to their alarm, and your least favorite co-worker wasn’t at work, which made you happy. Life is more complex than just saying “fine” or “I want to further my education.” You are implying more than you express, and I understand why.

What People Are Trying To Imply When They Use It

When applicants write the IWTFME sentence, they are usually trying to communicate several things at once:

They value education.
They are motivated to continue learning.
They believe graduate school is the next logical step.
They are serious about professional growth.

The problem is that none of those ideas is actually stated clearly. The reader is expected to infer intention, readiness, and direction without evidence. Not to mention the reader knows you want to further your education, but don’t know why.

Admissions committees do not infer. They evaluate.

What Admissions Committees Are Actually Hearing

When admissions readers see “I want to further my education,” they do not hear motivation. They hear a lack of clarity.

This sentence tells them:

You have not identified a specific skill gap.
You have not connected graduate school to a concrete next step.
You could be applying to almost any program.
You may be interested, but not yet prepared.

Desire alone is not persuasive. Admissions committees are deciding who is ready for advanced training, not who wants it.

What You Should Say Instead

Graduate programs are professional training environments. Admissions committees want to know why graduate-level training is necessary for you right now.

A stronger sentence does one thing clearly: it explains why undergraduate education or work experience is no longer sufficient.

Instead of framing graduate school as something you want, frame it as something you need.

Here is the core upgrade:

“I want to further my education.” becomes“Graduate training is necessary for me to develop [specific skills] required for [specific role or outcome].”

This shift changes everything.

Here are some more examples.

Three Stronger Ways To Say This

Option 1: Skills-based clarityGraduate training is necessary for me to develop advanced statistical and policy analysis skills required for evaluation roles in public agencies.

Option 2: Career-transition focusedTo transition from program implementation into policy evaluation, I need graduate-level training in quantitative methods and applied research.

Option 3: Role-specific precisionMy current role has shown me that advancement into policy evaluation requires graduate training in statistical modeling and data interpretation.

Each version answers the same unspoken question admissions committees are asking: Why this degree, and why now?

Let me go deeper.

Why does this one sentence have a huge impact on admission decisions

Admissions committees read hundreds, sometimes thousands, of statements. They are trained to spot patterns quickly.

When they see vague motivation language, they assume the rest of the application will lack direction as well. When they see specificity, they assume preparation.

This single sentence often appears near the beginning of a personal statement. That means it sets the tone for how the rest of the application is interpreted.

A vague sentence makes strong credentials work harder.A clear sentence makes average credentials make sense.

Graduate school admissions is not about sounding impressive, but about sounding prepared and deliberate.

If you replace one sentence of desire with one sentence of intention, you immediately change how your application is read.

And that change matters more than most applicants realize.

Take Control of Your Personal Statement Today

Now that you know why vague phrases like “I want to further my education” can actually hurt your application, here’s your next step: rewrite that one sentence with intention, clarity, and purpose. This isn’t just semantics, it’s the difference between an admissions reader nodding off and leaning in because they see exactly where you’re headed and why.

To make this process even easier and far more strategic, we want to help you rewrite every sentence and paragraph of your statement with precision. Our Personal Statement Advantage (PSA) Program is designed to guide you step-by-step as you craft a statement that is specific, compelling, and admissions-ready.

In the PSA Program you will:

Learn how to turn vague ideas into specific, concrete statements
Get expert feedback on every sentence and paragraph
Strengthen your voice so committees feel ready to admit you

Your action step right now:Go back to your draft, rewrite the sentence you just learned about so it clearly explains why graduate training is necessary, and then join thousands of others who are turning ordinary statements into admissions wins.

👉 Sign up for the Personal Statement Advantage Program:https://bit.ly/psaprogram

Don’t just want admission. Write for it.